Are Female Breadwinners Grieving the Loss of a Dream?

 

Schoolgirl dreams die hard. When childhood fantasies dissolve, sadness and despair may be all that is left. Women who are the primary breadwinners have nurtured the same girlish dreams as their counterparts in more traditional marriages. Thanks to cultural conditioning, most breadwinning wives during adolescence desired being ‘taken care of’ by a man. They dreamt of being whisked away by the archetypal ‘knight-in-shining-armor’ who committed to caring for her until the end of her days. Her childish understanding of husbandly duties may have been obscure at best, but certainly would have included financial provisions. ‘Female breadwinner’ describes the newest breed of American wife- but how does this new category of wife respond to a dream deferred?

In the modern world, women are more than just liberated. They are strong-minded and assertive. The reversal of decades of bans against women in education and labor, combined with increased ambition among young women, has resulted in an increasing prevalence of female breadwinners nationally and globally. This new trend is a testament to the inner strength and perseverance of the ‘weaker sex’. According to most recent statistics, almost 40% of America’s working women out-earn their mates. But despite feelings of empowerment among these women, there is an underlying feeling that something is missing.

Some of these powerhouse wives may feel that they are falling short of the fulfillment of a dream – the dream of being taken care of financially by a man. They may feel that they failed to fully realize their own destiny. Somewhere along their paths, something went wrong. There may be a void, a sense of loss. The definition of bereavement is to be deprived of something. Are female breadwinners grieving the loss of a dream? For some of us, I think the answer is yes. I know because I am one of them.