Band-Aids…

Money, money, money…it makes the world go round. But if approached carelessly in a relationship, money can bring matters of the heart to a grinding halt. There are a myriad of ways that couples can tackle the issue of money in a marriage. But one uncustomary approach to money may be rearing its ugly head within America’s newest relationship culture-couples containing a female breadwinner.

“Never tell a lie” is a nostalgic teaching that most remember from grade school. But as we age and experience life, we begin to bend those recommendations about truthfulness according to the situation at hand. There is a particular tactic that some female breadwinners utilize when they discover that their husbands are threatened by their high salaries- they simply lie about how much they earn!

Past experiences have taught these women that in order to “keep the peace” in the marriage, the husbands are better off in the dark.  Some will classify their actions as an effort to protect his ego because “he can’t handle how much I make”.  Whether right or wrong, such forms of pacification are not uncommon in this category of relationship. Is this the right approach to a circumstance that can be extremely challenging for many men to accept?

It is easy for society to shake its finger and say, “No, no, no”. But many female breadwinners are dealing with more emotional and psychological baggage in the marriage than they can handle. Lying about her salary or withholding how much she earns may be her Band-Aid of choice. It is not my place to judge. But as with any Band-Aid, what hurts most is what’s underneath once you pull it off.