This story is about a couple, wherein the husband was doing quite well for himself early on in the marriage. He owned a couple of businesses including a car wash and beauty salon. The money was flowing really well. His wife was very comfortable, even overspending at times- shopping, and sponsoring lunches with friends, and other expensive things.

When the real estate market started to change, his businesses began taking a turn for the worse. When he could see that the writing was on the wall, he would try to warn her, “Hey, you’ve got to stop all this spending, you’ve got to cut back.” She didn’t pay him any attention. So he tried to convince her again, “You know what? I need you to really stop spending all these hundreds of dollars on these lunches with your friends and your shopping.” She was not trying to hear it. Eventually, he lost everything- the high income and the businesses.

So feeling like he had no choice, eventually he cancelled their joint American Express card – but he failed to tell her that he canceled it. Probably, a combination of spite and pride. So, the wife went to lunch with her friends at their usual spot.  And she goes to pay the bill – her card gets declined. “Can you run it again?” Declined. Embarrassing. After calling the credit card company, she called the husband on the phone, cursing him out at the restaurant, “What in the world is going on? You canceled my card!” He said to her, “Look, I’ve been trying to warn you of this for a long time to stop spending. You refused to listen, so I had no other choice, no other recourse, but to cancel the card.” Over time, she was very, very disgruntled with the fact that she was now the higher earner. She had to pay for this, and pay for that- she was not used to paying much of anything.

So, she said to him, “Well, if I have to pay for all of this, then I’ll just leave.” His response was, “Well, if you don’t pay for all of this, I wish you would leave!” With these words he was saying, “When the shoe was on the other foot and I paid for everything, you were comfortable, you didn’t hear me complaining. So, now that the tables have turned, the ups and downs of relationships, and now you have to pay. You’re not willing to do that same thing for me? just because you’re a woman and I’m a man? I mean, come on!”

Where is the love in that? Where is the unconditional support in her sort of thinking? Sometimes, ladies, we have to grow beyond of that traditional mindset- when a woman says, “Well, what’s mine is mine, and what’s his is mine,” That’s a very selfish and out-dated mindset, to say the least. Women now comprise 50% of the US workforce. We can make a living and earn a very decent wage. We’ve got to move beyond the archaic thinking that gender should determine who’s financially vetted in our relationships. Teamwork makes the dream work, right? A better way to treat someone you love is to say, ‘Hey, I’m here unconditionally- in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer. Together, we can conquer all things’