Sitting and Knitting….

 

Have you heard the phrase ‘too much of a good thing’?  What does that mean exactly? Are there things in life that seem to be good when done in moderation, but then take on a negative connotation when done in excess? I am sure we can all think of a few things in our lives that would fit this description. Off the top of my head, this list would include things like red wine, which has the heart-healthy benefits of anti-oxidants when consumed in small amounts. But clearly have negative effects if consumed in excess including driving impairment, alcohol addiction, irreversible liver damage, and obesity.  But instead of a physical product as an example of this phenomenon, let’s apply it to thoughts and emotions that may characterize each of our outlooks on life.

I popped into a local eatery last week for a sandwich and salad. I remember seeing a lady about my age sitting at a nearby table with a group of friends….and she was knitting- a pastime I hadn’t seen anyone do for many years. I was working on my laptop, and she was just sitting and knitting. I looked back at her again….still knitting. My first thought was ’awww…isn’t that sweet, she has time to knit?’ But minutes later my thought process deteriorated into ’Stop knitting your life away, lady. Get up and do something!’ For some reason, those few moments of internal struggle stuck with me throughout the week and have given me reason to ponder.

In her golden years, my grandmother, who is now deceased, used to knit beautiful multi-colored blankets for our family. These keepsakes we now treasure in her absence. I guess I subconsciously classify knitting as an activity reserved for those that have a lot of extra time on their hands.  Sadly, this is a scenario that I never feel applies to me! So why did I have such a visceral reaction to a woman like myself who had time to sit and knit?  Maybe it reveals something about my psyche, my drive, my ambition, and my Type A tendencies. Have I become so jaded as a female breadwinner that I can’t appreciate the beauty of doing nothing?

I tend to set new goals for myself frequently.  Being goal-oriented is usually a good thing; but I guess when done in excess, it can become too much. I am so goal-oriented that as soon as I reach one goal, I get bored. This inspires to move on to the next goal. My maternity leave of 8 weeks was hard for me, because I had no daily or weekly goals. I had nothing to work toward each day. Just strolling at the mall or hanging out in the ‘mothers’ restroom at Nordstroms was simply not enough for me.  Although the blessing of being home with my new baby was priceless, there were times when I honestly felt uninspired. I am not proud of that.

We all have our faults, and this is one of mine. I don’t know how to be still. The Italians call it ‘dolce far niente’ … pleasant idleness. I don’t yet understand the beauty of doing nothing. What was I feeling when I saw that young woman knitting over her meal with no particular place to go? As the breadwinner in my household, do I long for a time when life will just figure its own self out? Instead of me feeling like I have to put everything into place on a daily basis. Maybe. She is enjoying ‘dolce far niente’ and I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off! Maybe instead of looking down at her for ‘doing nothing’ with her day, I can learn from women like her how to steal a piece of that bliss for myself….